In keeping with that magnificent collegiate tradition of speaking authoritatively on a subject after minimal experience ("Well, I'VE had a semester of Philosophy!"), the College-goer of approximately 4 days shall now impart wisdom to next year's freshies.
Some facetious, some serious.
1) Do not overload your backpack if you plan to stay more than 2 minutes on campus. This problem is particularly compounded if you happen to stay for, say, 12 hours on campus. You're not that buff. And neither am I, apparently.
2) Don't dress up whatsoever on your first day. It really makes you stand out when probably the best idea is to look as invisible as possible (at least until you have found your classes...). By dressing down and looking decent but not stand-out-ish, you (a) can add a full academic year onto your appearance and (b) figure out where the heck you are going and the best way to do things without being interrupted by people. I've found that the more attractive/ostentatious/ridiculous (the line is blurred with my fashion sense...) I look the friendlier people will be. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but my primary concern first day of class is to scoot into my seat after being late, figure out where to stash my voluminous backpack, calculate exactly how much coffee I will need, and other such important things as opposed to chumming up with whomever I happen to sit next to.
3) Lay low for a few days and don't chum up for a bit if you can avoid it. I'm not saying that it's bad to have wide horizons, but with my gregarious personality I have brought many awkward moments on myself by being too friendly. Yes, too friendly. Such a curse generally brings one of three maladies: (a) a victim of "Teh Friendly (tm)" will sometimes shun you in a state of terror, (b) a willing accomplice to "Teh Friendly" will declare you their "Best Fwend Forwever"...even after you both discover that you have absolutely nothing in common. (This leads to the inevitable: "Well....I feel bad not hanging out with you cos you're a lovely person, but we mainly stay silent the whole time...what did the professor just say?" inner monologue), or (c) an overly-romantic idealist will decide that you are "The One." (And we're not talkin' Neo here...)
4) Feel free to take potentially humiliating risks for the sake of comfort. I accomplished this by digging out my old scooter which (at first glance) can only be described as: Safe-looking. Four wheels. I had, in my youth, felt a bit self-conscious about this scooter despite the fact that it totally pwned all of the flimsy little Razors zipping around. Frances (as I have recently dubbed him/her) is a hefty 6-7 pounds of sturdy metal with a turning radius ranging between "wide" and "very wide." Nevertheless what she lacks in appearance, she makes up for in stability, speed, and comfort (you lean to turn her, and can steer her using no hands, with practice. I can handily prop myself against her handlebars and coast comfortably rather than worrying about the wiggly giggly steering shafts that have a tendency to unhandily veer in ugly directions). And, by the end of my first day with her, I was receiving many compliments of "cool scooter."
That's it for now.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Excuse for not posting in a while. I've been busy! No, really.
Brief update my minions adoring fans.
Holy Bat Guano August has zoomed by real!fast.
My room is almost all the way painted. Huzzah! It looks magnificent and not unlike a giant chocolate mint, which makes me very pleased. I have two walls cream, one wall a bright-ish green, and one wall brown with brown woodwork and a brown!and!green door (which was a last minute decision of mine when my friend was over painting. I was like: Green! Green! She countered with: then why the heck did you put brown there. Me: Green! Green!
(It was a long day as we had filled the tiny, not-very-well ventilated room with paint fumes (two different types) and deglosser fumes (which nearly made my cross my eyes...). To the extent that my mum poked her head in there and said: You two, please come out for a bit.
At that point we were so close to being done that we were at the "We don't CARE! HAHA! AFTER 5 HOURS! WE NEARLY FINISHED! HEEE!" But that could have been exacerbated by the fumes.
Aaaand I had to work more this week (two grueling days per week! for the past week and this week! The horrorz. Meanwhile, someone's house is being bombed....). Happily we are getting more help meaning that I'm not as uber crucial. Which is teh happiez. And! I got two pair of jeans (both adorable), two t-shirts, three tank tops, a jacket, and the cutest mini-skirt evar (I wear them over jeans and leggings etc...) for under $40. :D Hooray for employee discounts, coupons, and working at consignment shops.
Tomorrow me and teh sibling are going down to uni to plot our ways around for the coming year so she don't have to do it on class morning. And I should really get back to her to find where to get my books, but I don't get my scholarship disbursement until the 14th anyway...so it don't super matter. And I'm getting the hairs trimmed tomorrow. No more mullet for me. *sigh*
In injury news, I nearly got a sweet bruise from smacking into someone at the waterpark. So there were four peeps in our raft and somehow it got offkilter and swung up onto the side of the slide and promptly almost folded in half. Tossing me across it nearly. Smack....ow. Talk about your awkward moment. AAAND same day at the bottom of a new!shiny!actually!Boring slide, the big giant raft actually ditched me and my compadre on the ride. Which apparently isn't supposed to happen, so they had someone come over and interview us because "well it's a new ride."
Yeah, and I'm thinking that suddenly getting sucked underwater and feeling your lungs sieze up from sudden water entry is NOT how the ride is supposed to end? Awwww.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, sure, once my trachea is clear, I'll be dandy. In the meantime, pass me a Heimlich would you?"
Finally, I nearly got run over by a truck. So, I was crossing the street outside my work, and the entire city where I work has been recently chipsealed. But the geniuses in charge of public planning had not gotten around to repainting those pesky crosswalk markings.
So, the only thing designating them are the near billion signs throughout the town saying: "there are people here! And they walk! Across the street sometimes! Don't run them over, plz!" There's even a nifty little cone on one of the "crosswalks" across from the one I was walking on saying: "U needs to stop. Itz the law, foo." Essentially.
Yeah, so I'm happily sauntering across the street in designated yet invisible crosswalk. A minivan stops. I keep sauntering but see a big work truck pulling a trailer full of lawn equipment barreling down the road. Going fast. Really fast. And I do a quick calculation and realize that he probably can't stop in time. And, due to the fact that Edward was for some inexplicable reason NOT PRESENT! *sneer*, I decided it would be more prudent to slow to a crawl so that I'm not like loitering in front of the minivan (that's a nice hood ornament you got thar...).
Maybe it stop? *creep*
Maybe it stop? *creep*
Holy cow, it ain't stopping.
Meaning I have to stop.
Like nao.
*stop*
Minivan honks horn frantically (guessing at unobservant truck driver because the mom inhabiting said minivan was probably envisioning said me becoming smush if she didn't act said quickly.)
Me is startled by beep.
*looks at beep*
Truck barrels by at approximate velocity somewhere between fast and real fast.
Me, realizing I nearly became smush, scampers across street.
So nearly dying, getting injured and getting high on fumes has been greatly occupying my time.
And I suppose since I'm blogging I'm supposed to tie this so some deep universal truth. Which is: don't get hit by trucks, as it will most likely hurt. Fin.
Forgive the abhorrent lack of grammar-ness and punctuation and capitalization. Tis terrible, I know forsooth. But, frankly, after spending the past months on a writing board in which it is nearly required to have perfect grammar all of the time, I'm getting rather sloppy in my off time. Bad me.
Peace
Holy Bat Guano August has zoomed by real!fast.
My room is almost all the way painted. Huzzah! It looks magnificent and not unlike a giant chocolate mint, which makes me very pleased. I have two walls cream, one wall a bright-ish green, and one wall brown with brown woodwork and a brown!and!green door (which was a last minute decision of mine when my friend was over painting. I was like: Green! Green! She countered with: then why the heck did you put brown there. Me: Green! Green!
(It was a long day as we had filled the tiny, not-very-well ventilated room with paint fumes (two different types) and deglosser fumes (which nearly made my cross my eyes...). To the extent that my mum poked her head in there and said: You two, please come out for a bit.
At that point we were so close to being done that we were at the "We don't CARE! HAHA! AFTER 5 HOURS! WE NEARLY FINISHED! HEEE!" But that could have been exacerbated by the fumes.
Aaaand I had to work more this week (two grueling days per week! for the past week and this week! The horrorz. Meanwhile, someone's house is being bombed....). Happily we are getting more help meaning that I'm not as uber crucial. Which is teh happiez. And! I got two pair of jeans (both adorable), two t-shirts, three tank tops, a jacket, and the cutest mini-skirt evar (I wear them over jeans and leggings etc...) for under $40. :D Hooray for employee discounts, coupons, and working at consignment shops.
Tomorrow me and teh sibling are going down to uni to plot our ways around for the coming year so she don't have to do it on class morning. And I should really get back to her to find where to get my books, but I don't get my scholarship disbursement until the 14th anyway...so it don't super matter. And I'm getting the hairs trimmed tomorrow. No more mullet for me. *sigh*
In injury news, I nearly got a sweet bruise from smacking into someone at the waterpark. So there were four peeps in our raft and somehow it got offkilter and swung up onto the side of the slide and promptly almost folded in half. Tossing me across it nearly. Smack....ow. Talk about your awkward moment. AAAND same day at the bottom of a new!shiny!actually!Boring slide, the big giant raft actually ditched me and my compadre on the ride. Which apparently isn't supposed to happen, so they had someone come over and interview us because "well it's a new ride."
Yeah, and I'm thinking that suddenly getting sucked underwater and feeling your lungs sieze up from sudden water entry is NOT how the ride is supposed to end? Awwww.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, sure, once my trachea is clear, I'll be dandy. In the meantime, pass me a Heimlich would you?"
Finally, I nearly got run over by a truck. So, I was crossing the street outside my work, and the entire city where I work has been recently chipsealed. But the geniuses in charge of public planning had not gotten around to repainting those pesky crosswalk markings.
So, the only thing designating them are the near billion signs throughout the town saying: "there are people here! And they walk! Across the street sometimes! Don't run them over, plz!" There's even a nifty little cone on one of the "crosswalks" across from the one I was walking on saying: "U needs to stop. Itz the law, foo." Essentially.
Yeah, so I'm happily sauntering across the street in designated yet invisible crosswalk. A minivan stops. I keep sauntering but see a big work truck pulling a trailer full of lawn equipment barreling down the road. Going fast. Really fast. And I do a quick calculation and realize that he probably can't stop in time. And, due to the fact that Edward was for some inexplicable reason NOT PRESENT! *sneer*, I decided it would be more prudent to slow to a crawl so that I'm not like loitering in front of the minivan (that's a nice hood ornament you got thar...).
Maybe it stop? *creep*
Maybe it stop? *creep*
Holy cow, it ain't stopping.
Meaning I have to stop.
Like nao.
*stop*
Minivan honks horn frantically (guessing at unobservant truck driver because the mom inhabiting said minivan was probably envisioning said me becoming smush if she didn't act said quickly.)
Me is startled by beep.
*looks at beep*
Truck barrels by at approximate velocity somewhere between fast and real fast.
Me, realizing I nearly became smush, scampers across street.
So nearly dying, getting injured and getting high on fumes has been greatly occupying my time.
And I suppose since I'm blogging I'm supposed to tie this so some deep universal truth. Which is: don't get hit by trucks, as it will most likely hurt. Fin.
Forgive the abhorrent lack of grammar-ness and punctuation and capitalization. Tis terrible, I know forsooth. But, frankly, after spending the past months on a writing board in which it is nearly required to have perfect grammar all of the time, I'm getting rather sloppy in my off time. Bad me.
Peace
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