Carcus.

I am proud to call myself a grammar stickler. People say, "You're just stupid to care about grammar," but I disagree.

It is not stupid. It is, actually, quite empowering.

It gives you a most satisfying feeling of self-importance to worship at the hefty font of grammar, punctuation, and spelling because, frankly, a lot of other people don't. Meaning you can laugh at them. And feel smarter than them. Probably not the best motivations for a Christian to be harboring, but I must be frank.

And, my parents can take comfort in the fact that this is, indeed, the slightly EXAGGERATED life and times of me...you okay, mum?

Back on topic.

Being a grammar stickler (like being a fatalist) lets you laugh at a lot more things. When you understand what the grammar of a particular sentence really implies, any (and every) poorly structured phrase gains a whole new (and hilarious) depth of meaning.

It empowering to realize that you (in at least one area) are smarter than THAT person. THAT person may actually be, and often is, an important and fabulously wealthy person who is known for their great intellect.
Ergo, being a grammar stickler may lead to many of being important and fabulously wealthy and known for your great intellect because, well...if THAT person can make it... (you see the picture).

I had one of those moments just the other day. In Driver's Ed training, in fact.

Our driver's ed instructor has a slightly alarming penchant for technology, leading to his classroom being equipped with two plasma screen televisions AND a projector screen that is set to a size of around 12x8.

Before class, he had news blaring on all three screens.

I happily plopped down in my seat, assumed a sitting position, and began passivly sucking in whatever flickered on the screen, like a good girl. After a most awkward Levitra commercial, a few smatterings of national news, and some food ads...the real stuff came on. That's right. LOCAL NEWS!

Yesterday's events were fairly unforgettable with two exceptions.

The first being a car chase involving an armed suspect. Not that the chase was unforgettable, but rather the mental image evoked by a simple comment that had me rolling in the aisle (proverbially. I stifled my laughter with a snort in reality. "Huh? What? Oh, he has a sinus infection. He snorted. Not me. Snorticus Maximus is OVER THERE!").
"They should totally use a helicopter and just blow that sucker away!" said the belligerent teen.
The vivid image of a frenetic, bug-eyed person barrelling down the highway, looking on in terror as the helicopter roars up from behind I found most amusing at the time.

But I digress.

The TRULY unforgettable news story was, in fact, of a rather more peculiar nature. Although I couldn't quite understand the reporter (volume was terribly low...), it is my understanding that someone decided to randomly hang a wolf corpse in plain view of the public.
The guy who programmed the "weird explainy thing at the bottom of the screen that tells you if the representative is Republican or Democrat" must've been in a rush because the screen proudly blared: "WOLF CARCUS!"

Wait, whuh?

Although I do not use the word carcass on a regular basis, I sensed that the programmer had been duped by that rascal "Pronunciation." "Spell it how you say it."
Uh, not quite.

Unfortunately, this amusing error was lost on most of my classmates...and even when I mentioned it today, the three people in the room just kind of looked blankly ahead.

Someday, when they're famous and fabulously rich and known for their great intellect, I shall happily daydream about being each and every one of them.
Grammar can do that.